70000 Tons of Metal Diary, Day 4, February 7, 2016

For the last day of the cruise I decided to continue with my theme of sleep deprivation and woke up before 6:30 am when I had every intention of sleeping until 8 or 9 am. There is just no other way to put it, I was having the time of my life and was too excited to sleep. I can sleep when I’m dead, right?… After perusing my photos from the night before, I when up to the dining hall for a leisurely breakfast and some sugar free Red Bull. As I was eating I overheard Russian being spoken and the table next to me, and realized I was sitting right next to Arkona’s table! Then it was up to the pool deck to take in a morning show. The first band scheduled to play was Twilight Force, and after their great set on the first night, I was really looking forward to seeing them on the large Pool stage. This, however, was not meant to be as the crew seemed to be having wind troubles and was removing the canvas “roof” of the stage. This caused the rescheduling of Twilight Force’s set to the early morning hours, which I didn’t end up making due to the late time.

Dia De Los Muertos

As I was walking around the ship this morning, I discovered that the last day of the cruise seemed to, unofficially, be “Costume Day”… as a large number of the attendees were wearing costumes of various sorts… everything from store bought costumes, to some really elaborate homemade ensembles. Many were lame, many were quite good, and many were quite stunning. The theme of men wearing dresses and women’s makeup was a little too common in my opinion. I wish I had gotten the memo, as my daughter, who was on the cruise with me, is a professional make-up artist… but, she didn’t have her make up with her, so… I guess there is always next year.

I eventually made my way down to the Alhambra Theater to catch my first show of the day. If I wasn’t fully awake, I most certainly was after California based Dia De Los Muertos gave us all a crushing set of rage filled metal mayhem. Next I was off to Studio B for the makeup set from Visions of Atlantis, and their second set was just as grand and stunning as their first set on the previous day. It was at this show that I learned the meaning of “70000 Tons of Passed Out”. As shows go all day and all night, people just seem to fall asleep everywhere… in the dining halls, hallways, lounges, and even in the concert halls. Apparently it is “a thing” on this cruise for people to take pictures of these passed out weary concert warriors, in various awkward sleeping positions and then share them on the internet. I learned about this as I witnessed people actually lining up to photograph some poor girl who had fallen asleep and was drooling on herself during Vision’s of Atlantis’ set. So…. fair warning people… if you fall asleep during 70000 Tons of Metal, somewhere other than the privacy of your stateroom… at least make sure you look pretty for the cameras…

Koyi K Utho

The next event on my hit list was the Belly Flop Contest up on the pool deck. This contest has been a very popular event on 70000 Tons for years and I thought I’d get there a little early to get a good vantage point. Cruisers line up by the dozens to show off their best belly flops for a panel of musical judges. This year’s judges consisted of members from Iced Earth, Delain, Cradle of Filth, Dragonforce, Tyr, and Thryfing. According to the daily schedule, the contest was supposed to start at 12:30 pm. However, when I arrived at 12:15, the event was already in full swing and the deck was so packed with spectators that I couldn’t see much, let alone take pictures. I did manage to catch brief glimpses of the belly flop Olympians here and there, but for the most part I missed the event. I’ll know better to plan to show up even earlier next year. I left the pool deck to skip lunch as usual and headed back to Studio B for a second set of folk metal from the awesome Abinchova. It was really great to see them perform on a larger stage this time as they had much more room to move around than they did in the Pyramid Lounge on Day 1. The audience really seemed to be into the band as well, as the cheers were deafening.

I had planned to catch some afternoon shows at the Pool Deck stage, but the weather did not cooperate. This was the first day that we had any significant bad weather, but the winds were so high, the outdoor decks were closed to passengers which pretty much closed down the Pool Deck stage for the remainder of the cruise. So I, and the rest of the cruisers made our way back indoors for more metal on the indoor stages. Despite the high winds and choppy seas, I was quite impressed with how little of the storm could be felt from inside the ship. Now, it is a ship on the high seas, so there was certainly some motion, but I was really impressed just how stable this ship was in bad weather.

My Dying Bride

A really special event scheduled in the Alhambra for mid afternoon on the final day was “Jamming in International Waters”: an All Star Jam in which members of various bands joined together to perform classic metal songs. The event lasted an hour and a half and there were too many songs to list here, but a couple of my favorites included: Ozzy Osbourne’s “Over The Mountain” (with members of Delain, Turisas, Firewind, and Hammerfall) and Motorhead’s “Killed By Death” (with members of Lacuna Coil, Turisas, Delain, Children of Bodom, and Moonspell). Other classic songs were played from Metallica, The Scorpions, Iron maiden, Black Sabbath, AC/DC, and Judas Priest. It was really a fantastic set of performances! The All Star Jam was unfortunately in direct conflict with a Pub Jam performed by Swiss Folk Metalers, Eluveitie. This event was at the Dog and Badger Pub on the promenade on Deck Five. I’ve seen Eluveitie do a pub-style jam before, on last year’s North American tour, so I knew it would be awesome… but, because I had recently seen Eluveitie do a jam, I went to the All Star Jam instead. But this was the one time on the cruise, that I really regretted not being able to see both events! If you decide to go to the All Star Jam on a future cruise… Go Early!… this was the most packed show of the festival!

It was during the All Star Jam that the biggest glitch of the cruise occurred… but this one was totally on me. What is the worst thing that could happen to a photographer at a festival?… yep… you guessed it!… my damn camera broke. Not only did it break, but it broke at the beginning of the All Star Jam… so… just like the Belly Flop Contest… I have no pictures of the Jam. After a period of stressing, sulking, cursing, and ineffective attempts to get my camera working again, I headed to the nearest bar where I ran into a group of friends who were more than happy to help bring me out of my depressed state. After several drinks and lots of teasing about my dysfunctional equipment, I was in a slightly better mood and headed back to my room to get a back up camera. It was just a little “point and shoot” model, but the festival was going to go on with or without me… so I made the best of a bad situation and headed out to shoot the next show!

Next up was a trip back to the Alhambra for the eclectic German metal band, Subway to Sally. As best I can describe them, they are a folk metal band with a bit of steam punk influence that play a wide variety of traditional metal and folk type instruments including a Hurdy Gurdy. I’d never heard of them before but I thought they were musically very good and I enjoyed their unique set. My next scheduled show was back at Studio B, and on the way there, I ran smack into a Super Bowl Party! Not being a big fan of “American Football”, I’d completely forgotten that this was “Superbowl Sunday”. To get to Studio B, you have to first walk through an area called the On Air Club. This is where a large screen television had been set but for fans to watch the Super Bowl live and the place was packed!   Now why anyone would want to watch an American football game when there was great metal music being performed all over the ship, I had no idea… but, hey… to each their own, right?! I had to swim my way through the football fans to get to the show in Studio B, but it was well worth the effort as Koyi K Utho was waiting for me. This is an industrial metal band from Columbia that put on a very theatrical show of hard and heavy music. The band was dressed black costumes with either masks, helmets, or face paint with a black base and white stripes that reflected the color of the lights that were shining on them at the moment! It was a real fun and energetic show!

Delain

When I emerged from Koyi K Utho’s show, I noticed revised show schedules posted all over the ship. Appropriately titled: F@*# The Storm Schedule, the new schedule had rearranged all of the remaining shows for the night so that the bands that couldn’t play on the Pool Deck due to the bad weather would still get their second set. On one hand, I was very glad to see that all of the bands would get to play their second set… on the other hand, several shows that I had really looked forward to seeing (Moonspell, Dragonforce, Turisas, and the Skipper’s Thank You), had been moved to the early morning hours. In my advanced state of exhaustion, the likelihood of me staying up for these events was slim to none. But it was still early evening at this point so I headed back to the Alhambra for a visually and musically awesome performance from the gothic/doom metal band, My Dying Bride. Delain was next back at Studio B.   Despite a brief episode of equipment failure (During which Charlotte entertained the crowd with some lively conversation), Delain gave the audience another great show.

At this point, exhaustion was taking its toll, and I made a plan to go back to the room to see if I could take a nap, so that I might stay up later to catch the rescheduled band’s shows. But… best laid plans, and all of that… it seemed a nap was not in my future. On the way to my room, I passed, yet, another bar where I distinctly heard the call of friends and alcohol… and, well, I just HAD to join in… and that nap never happened. About an hour and a half later, it was time for Iced Earth’s rescheduled set, and we all got up and headed to the Alhambra. I had a feeling this would be my last show of the cruise, so I put down my camera and settled back to enjoy the show. Just like the first night, Iced Earth’s set blew me away, and, for me, it was also one of the top five shows of the cruise.

After Iced Earth’s set, it was after midnight, and I was asleep on my feet. While the younger and more resilient crowd (or perhaps the crowd that had just gotten more sleep) headed off for the early morning shows, I stopped for pizza and headed to my room. I fell asleep almost immediately on laying down. What an incredible week! In less than four days I had see 41 of 121 shows, from 33 of the 60 bands in attendance. Unlike most festivals, there was air conditioning instead of blistering heat, carpets instead of mud, comfortable rooms instead of tents, smaller crowds instead of massive hoards, cushy chairs in comfortable bars, and pretty decent food (even though I didn’t really get to eat much of it!) Hands down, the best festival ever! I’m signing off for now…

…here’s to next year!!

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